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| 08:37am 21/04/2005 |
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If you could trade lives with someone for a day, who would it be, and what would you do?
I’d thought at first that I would trade with Carolyn Sanderson, let her come to Darkover for a time and walk freely. No more stasis, or having to experience things through the minds or senses of others but directly. Yet while I would still be willing, would a day be a gift, or worse treatment for her? Once it ended…
Yet my second or third thought was somewhat similar. I would trade with one of my acquaintances on another world, such as she, Roger, or Mr.Garibaldi. I doubt I could do much in a single day, but to explore a place where travelers from a galaxy’s worth of planets mingle by itself sounds like an opportunity I’d be grateful to have.
I can only look up at the stars, but knowing these people has already given me a great deal to think about, perhaps hope for.
On the Darkovan end of things, if allowed, I would trade with that person at Midsummer.
Thendara is at its’ liveliest and most hospitable then, during the celebrations. Let them enjoy themselves, dance, meet with Comyn and with some of my…more exuberant relatives, such as Carolin and Jandria. A day’s peace, and with friends. I think those I know on Babylon Five might welcome that.
Muse: Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover
Word count: 231 |
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| If you could do one irresponsible or bad thing with no consequences, what would it be? |
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| 10:24am 07/04/2005 |
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mood:  accomplished
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The most tempting possibility, if I could devise a way, would be one of two
alternatives: to grant "Comyn" powers, specifically empathy and telepathy, to
everyone on Darkover. The division between those that have laran and those that
don't has cost us all more than any Gift is worth. Or, conversely, I
would abolish them altogether. "Let it be as if it had never been."
Since I can't imagine how that could be done 'with no consequences' and yet
still be of any use, I should think of something else.
The timesearch project Kyria and I have been engaged in suggests some--interesting
opportunities for mischief, as well as learning.
It may well be that I am being irresponsible in pursuing the research.
However, I didn't create her sort of Gift, or my own. If we don't develop the
understanding and accompanying skills, others well might.
To tamper with past, or future? Yet--who does not, in their own ways. If we
can perceive them, they aren't separate from our 'present', in any event.
Muse:Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover
Word count: 170 |
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| 09:50am 10/03/2005 |
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mood:  cynical
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If you could change someone's mind about something, who and what
would it be?
Some one person?
If I could reach back in time--and save me from temptation,
Avarra and Evanda--I would prevent whoever first thought of using
laran and matrices to create weapons from so doing.
I think that that might only have delayed the inevitable, yet,
who knows?--And as this is speculation, no harm in it.
In the present days, the one person whose mind I should
have liked to have changed was that of a certain laranzu.
Eduin Deslucido.
He had the talent to become a Keeper, but his misconduct and views
were too lacking in conscience for anyone to accept. Since his studies and then work in the Towers were driven by a desire for revenge, I suppose that should come as no surprise.
Yet, he cared for others. My sister, while she became a Keeper-in-training eventually, was in love with him, and, I suspect, he with
her.
Would I have stopped him from pursuing vengeance--or from meeting
her? She might still be alive, and a Tower undestroyed, if he had not...Or might not. He wasn't directly responsible for the assault
which leveled Hali, and in fact, went to try to warn her to escape
when he learned what his allies had planned.
Together, they died in Hali's defense. A dreadful lesson was learned, one that led most of the Towers and kingdoms to rethink
their constant warfare.
So, his actions may have saved far more lives than they cost, eventually--or the series of events that his choices were part of.
Does the good of the many outweigh the loss of a few?
I still wish that we could have found another way.
Some questions have no good answers.
Muse: Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover |
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| Write a drabble on the word beautiful |
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| 02:34pm 20/02/2005 |
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Beauty has one of two meanings for a Keeper--
Treasured, whether it's the bright eyes and graceful step of one loved,
the glow of crimson sunset, spring colors or new snow,familiar home or
shining Tower spires, or the presence/touch/closeness, mind-to-mind, of
a caring, happy, living personality. They've learned to take those joys
where they can, which is not something to expect often on Darkover.
And forbidden. Look, but do not grasp, that close but no closer. To be noticed,
enjoyed, but not held or owned, or lasting for a lifetime. They set aside that
sort of indulgence for any number of reasons. Some, to do with a Keeper's need for
celibacy, others, less apparent--the need not to be influenced away from neutrality,
discipline, cool judgment.
Yet sometimes, they do step aside from duty...if only for a few seconds.
He wonders, too, though it's an idle fancy, if the earliest Keepers had more than
one reason for choosing to dress themselves in red.
Muse: Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover
Word count: 153 |
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| What does love mean to you? |
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| 10:27am 10/02/2005 |
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Love is something precious, if rare, among Comyn. We have seen brother fight
brother, families and clans, divided, in the past several years.
Love is a strength and gift that can't be commanded, owned; only welcomed if and
when it comes. One might as well try to hold the sun in their bare hands.
Yes, I do realize there may be those in the community who would be capable of it,
*amused*, but I can only speak for myself or perhaps Darkover.
"What does a Keeper know of love?"
It's true I can't act upon it as other men do, but that scarcely means tenerezu'in are unmanned or unfeeling. Only that we don't choose one
above all others, to care for, for a lifetime.
To love means to be willing to risk, and sometimes, sacrifice, for that which
is loved. That choice may take many forms; loss of freedom, of safety, of
life itself.
Love means understanding that one can't have the joys of a lover's touch, a
friend's loyalty, a child's laughter, without the attendant risk and responsibility.
Embrace it, if and when you may. Far better to have known that light, than to be
forever alone with shadows.
Muse: Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover
Word count: 200 |
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| Happily Ever After |
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| 07:16am 04/02/2005 |
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We do have children's stories that end somewhat like that, but not many of
them.
Even the most fanciful tales hold a thread of truth. So. What would a 'happy
ending' be to my particular story?
Peace, is the most obvious crucial element. No more wars that rip kingdoms
apart, leaving soldiers, as well as the innocent, burned and bleeding, dying,
or grieving the void where lovers, family, friends should be. No more damned
clingfire, bonewater dust, or other weapons such as we squandered our
talents to create.
No one would even remember what those were, except as story fodder themselves,
much less how to create them.
Neskaya would be safe, a place to learn, to work, to know friends and colleagues,
not a place where kings and Keepers meet to plan warfare, or parents bring their
children to be healed of poisons and sword wounds that leave their bodies shattered.
My sister and yes, even Eduin would still be alive.
I would work as Keeper, as I do now, but...perhaps not alone. Someday, there might
be another I could call 'beloved', though a place remain in my heart for one now
gone. Perhaps a fellow Keeper, one of the lady candidates we hope to pass the
training. An equal, one who shares my joys and dedication to the work, and her
own dreams.
Love. Respect.
Certainly, family, in the form of students, other Tower workers.
Children, of my heart, if not my body. Brothers and sisters.
Hope in place of endless struggle. An end to nightmares brought into the daylight
world.
That would be enough of a happy ending for me.
Muse: Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover
Word count: 272 |
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| Opposite and Apart |
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| 03:08pm 14/01/2005 |
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The sun's setting. He walks up to his quarters, alone, as he has for the last
ten years since Neskaya's rebuilding. Long years of habit and conditioning,for
a Keeper; the lack of closeness, celibacy, is a restriction he rarely gives
much thought anymore. He's never felt the lack of family as some Keepers do.
Those that succeed in the position long enough to be given full leadership of
a Tower, rather than under-Keepers, have other...ambitions, or pleasures.
The darkness suits his mood, as he recalls the early day's events.
Three patients brought to them, badly burned by fire while helping fight a
blaze that had kindled in the woods north of here. One had died almost as soon
as he reached the Tower, lungs too damaged for any healing, despite Neskaya's
varied skills. The other, his wife, would live, and the Tower healers believe
she'll regain full use of her limbs, if not her looks.
The third...
Varzil stares at his reflection in the mirror. Red hair, tired eyes, but recognizably
Comyn. As had been the third person they'd treated.
Varzil had entered rapport with him while unconscious, to monitor and check for
further, hidden injuries. What he and the others in the link had seen, infurirated or
appalled them.
It had not, however, come as any surprise to Neskaya's Keeper.
He'd been aware that the woman had been--abused, prior to the burns. He'd also sensed
unmistakably that her mind was clouded, and neither pain nor the drugs they'd given
her for it, entirely accounted for that.
Laran had been used against her, not in the second man's defense, but simply
as an easier way to facilitate cruelty and rape.
Nor was there the slightest hint that her attacker felt any remorse for his actions,
or even understood why "a head-blind old woman" should be treated with the same respect he would have given one of his own kindred.
Varzil directed Rakhal to heal him sufficiently to prevent death, or disabling injury.
He hasn't asked more of his Circle than that. In truth, he is not sure that he would give it himself.
He remembers the woman's memories, briefly glimpsed; fear and pain, her inability to
escape, or to strike back--and then, realizing that she'd also lost her chance to flee
the flames advancing toward them. Begging the man to let her go, to stop, and then,
fire catching her hair, her clothing...
The glass cracks, as Varzil's fist impacts with it. He stares, bleakly, then shakes his head. Goes in search of bandages and clean water. Any Keeper these days knows to have medical supplies within reach; there is no choice about that.
Muse: Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover
Word count:444 |
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| The year. looking back |
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| 11:08am 07/01/2005 |
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There have been changes; in what I know, and what I believe...
Starting with the existence of other worlds. That has been largely a myth, one so distorted few people on Darkover would think it was anything but a children's story.
I met several people who inhabit those worlds; a certain roving shaman, his...companions, the damned Shadows, and of course, Carolyn, her friend Mike Garibaldi, and Roger and Dorothy. KITT. Faith.
Carolyn's friendship, the chance to be her teacher and invite her to First Circle here, was a gift I never expected. She brought us as much as we gave her, from the first.
She is one I would gladly welcome here permanently, and be damned to tradition or her world of origin.
Yes, Towers do have their limits. I've been reminded of that several times in the last year. Assisting Carolin to deal with rogue Towers, unfriendly rulers from the Western lands, and convincing one would-be assassin that 'peaceful' does not mean weak or easy prey, kept me occupied.
So has...encountering one of those we call 'gods' here.
Avarra.
Glimpses of the future, that suggest past, present, future worlds and people may not be as separate as we'd thought--assumed, rather. Or prayed.
I continued to work to encourage other Towers and kingdoms to follow Hastur's example. In some cases, we've succeeded--it goes slowly, but people begin to
listen, even outside the matrix circles.
A good year, if one full of surprises. I look forward to the new year, whatever
comes.
Muse: Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover
Word count:248 |
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| Do you believe in the possibility of a true friendship between a man and a woman? |
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| 05:18am 28/12/2004 |
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That is almost two questions in one.
"True" friendship? As opposed to what, I might ask.
Can men and women be friends? Yes. That isn't a matter
of belief,for me, but of what I've seen, and experienced. Despite
what some of my fellow Comyn--male and female--
would feel more easy telling themselves, neither sex holds
greater gifts--honor, intelligence, caring, courage--exclusively.
So, yes, men and women can deal with one another as equals.
It is up to them whether or not they will, of course.
It's the more difficult if desire or attraction are
involved, muddying the waters, but difficult does not mean
impossible.
There are women I would call friend well before I would accept
their male relatives as such... at Neskaya, in First Circle, or
among the Swordsisters. What binds us goes as deep as other ties,
and as lasting.
Muse: Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: Darkover
Word count: 141 |
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| What are your religious beliefs? |
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| 09:26pm 16/12/2004 |
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I was raised to be what would be called a pantheist. My people believe in several
gods and goddesses: Aldones, who represents light and wisdom, the sun; Evarra,
goddess, mother, protector of children; Avarra, Lady of death and birth; Sharra,
the Firebearer; Zandru, ruler of the underworld, who judges the souls of those who
die.
We revere them, but rarely have formal prayers, nor temples and priesthood.
There are the cristoforos, in Nevarsin, who invoke the Bearer of Burdens,
but they have few members these days. I have never met one of them.
I have had more occasion to find Avarra in my thoughts, of late, but Darkovans
do not expect higher powers to save or condemn them in life.
Our legends say that Comyn are descended from Aldones and a daughter of
Hastur. Again, I don't know this to be true or false. I know that more powerful
beings exist, have had occasion to speak with at least one of those that
concerns Herself with our world.
I offer respect; not blind obedience or zealotry, even to them.
As for petitions or prayers--
No.
We have made the world what it is, make our lives what they are. If that brings
judgment down on me, so it will be. I don't deny their influence, but neither do I accept that they are in control of our fates.
Muse: Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover |
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| 12:20am 15/12/2004 |
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You Are a Warrior Soul |
You're a strong person and sometimes seen as intimidating.
You don't give up. You're committed and brave.
Truly adventuresome, you are not afraid of going to battle.
Extremely protective of loved ones, you root for the underdog.
You are picky about details and rigorous in your methods.
You also value honesty and fairness a great deal.
You can be outspoken, intimidating, headstrong, and demanding.
You're a hardliner who demands the best from themselves and others.
Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul
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| 11:07am 10/12/2004 |
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There are times I think our Gifts are the gods' idea of humor.
It's near to midwinter, and so with any luck, sensible men will be keeping close to home and their own lands.
Note that I don't say all of them do.
We have a highborn lord, one of the western Kings, who has brought his son to us for healing. Alaric Di Asturien is the boy's name, heir to that 'kingdom'. He became ill while they were traveling to meet the Hastur king and his court.
Merciful Avarra-- I could wish for the means to borrow some patience. Carolin sees this as a political opportunity, to strengthen ties, if we can help the youngster. Or even if we cannot.
It helps little, though, that his father, the esteemed "King of Asturias" has neither laran nor the wit or compassion of your average goat.
Alaric is a tool to him, one he wouldn't willingly break, but even if he does--he can father other sons. Already has, if gossip is accurate. I hope to gain more from this than...currency. Yet, that means convincing him and Carolin to allow the boy to remain here longer, "here" on Hastur lands and at Neskaya.
This will take persuasion and some clever bargaining--I could wish...
Who was it that said Tower folk needn't concern themselves directly with
politics? Hah! |
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| 11:07am 10/12/2004 |
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| You scored as Neutral Good. A Neutral Good person tries to do the Neutral Good | | 90% | Lawful Good | | 75% | Chaotic Good | | 60% | True Neutral | | 45% | Lawful Evil | | 40% | Neutral Evil | | 30% | Chaotic Evil | | 30% | Lawful Neutral | | 20% | Chaotic Neutral | | 15% | </td>
What is your Alignment?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| What do you want for your birthday? |
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| 10:55am 10/12/2004 |
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He's twelve years old. He and his brother are with the weaponsmaster,
practicing basic sword drills. Varzil is clumsy, but this is expected
of him.
Harald is a natural at fighting. Their father often boasts of his
firstborn's skill. The guardsmen of the Serrais estate respect the
Heir, too, even though Varzil's brother is not quite fifteen, of adult
rank, yet.
Varzil feels a twinge of bitter envy as he watches Harald and the training
master talk. Less than half a day from his thirteenth year-mark, and he is still
the weaker of Dom Felix Ridenow's sons, the lesser.
He makes some excuse and slips away for a few hours. No one will object.
His head aching, he returns to his rooms, wanting only privacy. He hasn't
suffered from the usual threshold sickness, but of late, he's been more aware
of human thoughts nearby...and not-so-human presences. He doesn't mention that
to his father or family.
The tea and medicine he takes do little to ease his discomfort. He feels a
familiar dizziness, and sits, putting down the cup. Shuts his eyes, fighting
to stay shielded, barriered.
"Varzil?" Concern.
Dyannis, his little sister. She shouldn't be in here now, but he doesn't answer
her. Can't.
Across the room, a glass decanter shakes, falls off its table to break into a dozen
sharp pieces. He grits his teeth, holding back a curse. Opens his eyes.
Dyannis watches him, worried. "You're sick. Should I get Father, or Domna
Calia?</i>" Unalarmed by the telekinetic flare, she doesn't even look at the
pile of broken glass. Touches his wrist. "Oh, you're hot!"
"It will pass, bredilla."
Dyannis unexpectedly scowls at that. She leaves the room. Varzil winces. He hadn't meant to dismiss her concern. But it won't help anyone for her to worry, will it?
She returns not five minutes later, with a small pail, and something else.
"We were going to give you this tomorrow, Calia and I. She says now is well.
It's your present. Father said, yes, too." She hands him a small carved wooden box.
He opens it to see a matrix, shining blue stone, perhaps the size of his thumbnail.
A silk pouch with drawstring is folded beside it.
"Go on, take it," Dyannis urges. "There's cake and some wine, I stole it from
cook."
He takes the matrix in one hand.
The pain clears, everything seeming clearer, as if outlined.
"Wear it, but in the pouch. It'll key to you. Like all laranzu'in's do."
Laranzu.
Varzil puts his matrix in its pouch, the thong over his head, silk and starstone
resting against his flesh.
Smiling for the first time that day, he nods. Thank you, Dyannis.
She squeezes his hand gently, and he hears, Of course, bredu.
Muse: Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover
Word count: 458 |
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| What do you have to be thankful for? |
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| 04:51pm 01/12/2004 |
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What rather than who--That limits the answer, but I can include
family and friends in that, certainly. They are what I value
most. Including Carolyn, Roger, and a few others from different
worlds.
Power--to change things, and by that I don't mean laran.
There are times when I could happily wish our Gifts out of existence,
though that's a rarity. They are a two-edged sword, and Darkover
still bleeds. It may never heal in our lifetimes.
We have managed, in Hastur's lands, to pass the idea of a peaceful
life to our children or grandchildren, as something possible, not
simply the stuff of fairy tales or old history. That is what I am
most grateful for, these last few years.
I am grateful for my--abilities, too, but more that I have the freedom
to decide what use is made of them. Heal rather than kill, when I can,
build, learn, teach, discover new boundaries, not...telepaths were seen
as living weapons for far too long. We are, yet the people are
beginning to remember that there is more to us than that.
Muse: Varzil Neskaya
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover
Word count: 181 |
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| 04:15pm 24/11/2004 |
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Who would you like to see get their final comeuppance? Who is it and just what would you do to them?
Who is it--
That would be a short list, but yes, I've wished to see others pay for
their actions.
Rafael, who tried to take the throne from my sworn brother, Carolin, and set off
a war that left hundreds dead, including friends of mine.
If your word even to your family is worthless... He pauses, shakes his head
angrily. Yet, he paid for it. So who then?
My answer can't come with a name, I don't think. I've quarreled with friends and
relatives; however, the few that I wasn't able to settle matters with, are beyond
my reach now.
If I could? I would take those who invented clingfire and bonewater dust,
somehow arrange for them to be locked in a room, unprotected with their creations,
and see to it that they didn't die for a...very...long time. For as long as our people have been made to suffer for their 'creativity'.
At the very least.
Muse: Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover |
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| Straw Into Silver |
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| 08:10am 11/11/2004 |
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What is the biggest lie you have ever told? What were the consequences?
Lies aren't always what one says, but what one does.
I was eighteen, and had just been made under-Keeper at Arilinn. I'd been in
service there for not quite two years.
I loved it...
but I chose to leave and never return.
I had been told repeatedly by Arilinn's Keeper, that the Towers belong to the Domains in which they stand. That the circles do not have authority or power in and of themselves, nor responsibility, that extends beyond the King's word.
When I first came to Arilinn, I did not question that. I was dying. Untrained,
I was on the way to either insanity or death without that help. I had learned
everything I could on my own or from our household's leronis, "sorceress",
and it was nowhere near enough.
I spent the first year watching the results of the Towers' obedience.
I learned a great many things, far more than my Keeper or our circle intended.
I spoke out, saying that Tower laws and practices should be changed. The Compact...
Carolin's invention, and mine.
Shall I tell you honestly, then--? More than the once, I despaired of ever changing
anything. Darkover's strength is its resolve, but it's also become a weakness.
I never let my fears show, except to a very very few. 'Tis not simple to conceal
emotion from other telepaths, but that too, I'd learned from my apprenticeship.
I wept, raged,drank, cursed their rigid pride that cost lives every year,in private, but never showed that to those who were against my...'foolish beliefs'.
Show, not tell.
I came to Hestral, finally, and they knew my reputation as one who worked,successfully, without warmongering, or the games of power and intrigue too
many tenerezu seem to enjoy. Their Keeper said only "Do not despair--for here
is one man, and one Tower, ready to listen."
Always try, even when you fail, always act as if hope were certainty...and eventually,
with luck, honor, support, and yes, 'unreasonable' determination, the lie becomes a truth. Even to say something is to change--if only yourself.
Muse:Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover
Word count: 354 |
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| 06:09am 02/11/2004 |
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A...personal ad?
*listens to someone explain, nods slowly*
I see.
We do something of the sort, in trying to arrange good matches for a son or daughter--or sometimes siblings. It isn't written or all that overt. Families or their friends meet and discuss the matter. For myself--?
*laughs, shaking his head* Keepers don't marry, nor do many have long liaisons, unless they leave their Towers once and for all. I suppose this means, if I weren't tenerezu. Though even then, past thirty years, one is rather old for this game. Let me see.
"Single man, of mature years, red hair, blue eyes, seeks unmarried woman of his age or younger. Should be intelligent, strong-willed, creative, able to care for others as well as herself in times of war or trouble, as well as peaceful.
Can offer: adventure, travel,surprises; caring, fidelity, power or rank to those who find them of interest. (*shrugs* "A Keeper may look at a King...")
Freemate sought rather than one who would be bound di catenas. Desire for a family or children also appreciated but not required. Apply at Serrais Holding in the Ridenow Domain."
*looks thoughtful, and adds a line *
"Laran-endowed also preferable but will not turn aside a lady with the
other attributes mentioned, has she the Gifts or not."
Muse: Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover |
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| catch-up topics, Vulnerable vs. Invulnerable |
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| 05:35pm 01/11/2004 |
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What makes you feel vulnerable, or invulnerable? Why?
Anything that can touch you, can either help or hurt. It isn't possible to
leave yourself open and yet be completely safe.
I've never felt or believed myself "invulnerable".
My own weaknesses? Laran, in some ways, my fears of failing those
who trust me, the tendency to let my hopes climb too high too fast at
times, or place my trust in those who don't care to deserve it.
My strengths are related; family, friends, the Tower folk, and the bonds
among us. Not only those created by arcane "powers", but compassion,
generosity, courage. Honor. Integrity.
Two halves of a coin, there's no having one and not the other--and I
wouldn't if I could.
Muse: Varzil Ridenow
Fandom: The Chronicles of Darkover |
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